I found this story among my dad's things. He kept this very tatty newspaper for 72 years. He had told me the story many times and I have finally typed it up for posterity.

From 20th Light Ack Ack Regiment, Royal Artillery newspaper - The Barrage, Hamburg 1st December 1945

Sub editors: Sgt. Nobby Clark, L/Bdr E.J. Bayes & Gnr R. Clayton

244 Battalion

KERRISON V TOWN MAJOR

Roughly 12 days ago a motor launch was seen drifting on the lake known as Feenteich behind 244BHQ. This phenomenon was observed by no less a person than Gunner Kerrison, who with his usual courage and many a look over his shoulder to ensure that he was unobserved, literally lured the craft into the landing stage.

For many days this happy man polluted the air with many foul expressions whilst we who were not in the know stood and watched with mouths agape. The end of the murmuring came one morning, with a cloud of blue smoke and a terrific clatter, Gunner Kerrison and the launch took to the water together.

With his launch’s nose pointed to the Alster Gunner Kerrison patrolled the waters of Hamburg whilst adopting a Nelsonian pose and hurling insults and orders of “Hard to Starboard” at his faithful retainer who was, (as is usual with faithful retainers), doing all the work.

Justice, however, took a hand and before long Gunner Kerrison was confronted by the Town Major’s representative demanding the return of the boat. (Next sentence unreadable). All formalities were observed and Kerrison returned unto the fold with a blameless character but sans motor boat. Kerrison would, however, appreciate any help regarding what happened to the starting handle.

If anyone knows – keep quiet! Moral – “And let there be no moaning at the bar when I put out to sea ….”